The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may...

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"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to hav...

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It's closing time, and two drunks are getting ready to leave the bar. "God, I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is take my shoes off and crawl into bed, but Hailey always nags me for wh...

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There was a blonde, a brunette, a red-head and a bald woman stuck on a desert island.
The brunette decided to swim home, but got 1/3 of the way there and drowned, The red-had decided to try, bu...

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An Blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
"Please come over here and help me, I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks,
"What...

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A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Ba...

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A doctor is making his rounds in the hospital when he comes upon a guy with the worst case of sunburn he has ever seen. The poor guy is burnt raw from head to toe and is in agony. He says to the docto...

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A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, I'...

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A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "you're ...

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A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "you're ...

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A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, an...

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Jimmy came home from school with an F on his geography test. His mother was reviewing his work, and noticed that he had gotten one particularly easy question wrong.

"Jimmy," she asked, ...

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Mom and Dad were taking young Billy for a walk through the park one sunny afternoon when all of a sudden, in the bushes a short distance away, Billy spots two dogs going at it. Billy says, "Daddy, wha...

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The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the doctor learned he was about to marry an eighteen-year-old girl.
"Now, Mr. Jenkins", the doctor warned, "you should know that when a man y...

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A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, an...

0 comments

There was a party that many rich people attended. The host had recently built a tank with many alligators, paranas, and many other things that could kill you. The host said that if anyone could swim a...

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The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The
next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell t...

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The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may...

0 comments

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name i...

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Doctor: Mrs. Smith, I have to tell you, I don't like the looks of your husband.
Patient's Wife: Neither do I, but he's good to the children.

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