A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know!” the child says, bursting into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me!”

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I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD:

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it goes . . .

I decide to clean off the front patio. I star...

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GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothin...

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Old couple visit New York, so they get out of the airport and get into a cab.
The cab driver asks them where are they from, so the old guy says they are from Canada. The old lady, being hard of...

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A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a
masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the
stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided...

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There was a blond a brunette, and a red-head and they were walking down the street.
A short man came up to them and said: in that castle there is a magic mirror, if u look into the mirror and t...

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Woman had been married three times and was still a virgin.

Somebody asked her how that could be possible. "Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian and he died before ...

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There's a traveling salesman driving one night in a horrible storm. His car breaks
down and he's out in the country. He walks to a house that didn't have any lights
on so he peaked in th...

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A guy comes home after losing a lot of money, playing golf.

A few minutes later his wife comes home from work with a new fur coat.

Her husband says "Hey how did you get t...

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An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenage...

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A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken is stretched back smoking a cigarette with a very satisfied smile across his face. The egg is frowning and looking extremely frustrated.
The ...

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A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken is stretched back smoking a cigarette with a very satisfied smile across his face. The egg is frowning and looking extremely frustrated.
The ...

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A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador retriever between them.
The first man asked why the d...

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One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.
As he wait...

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One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.
As he wait...

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The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch mea...

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The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch mea...

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A 2...

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A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washrooom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look...

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At 8 years old....you put milk in your glass

At 18 years old....you put beer in your glass

At 80 years old.... you put your teeth in your glass

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