I'm just waiting for the reality show where we give people money for killing themselves. It's a very modest proposal, really.

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That sounded like a really bad impact. I feel for the poor tree.

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She's going to pulp you into burrito stuffing.

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Sometimes, you really need precision accuracy.

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Don't be fat like a seal if you're gonna walk by the polar bear cage.

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Yeah, admitting that you sniff women's chairs would be kinda embarrassing.

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Whatever she's on, it's a hell of a drug.

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If I'm ever a fat old man, remind me to be this awesome.

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Some tough guys lay into each other.

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I'm amazed this guy's reproductive capacity remained intact long enough for him to have children.

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I want that guy who got slammed in the side by a bike but kept right on going on my team.

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A neat interpretation of the Indiana Jones theme on guitar.

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Just because it doesn't have an engine doesn't mean you can get messed up in it.

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Really, unless it's a monster truck, nothing is going to go anywhere when you drive it into the back of a car.

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Next time some fundie Christian tells you that oral sex is an "unnatural act", show them this video.

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If you need a scientist to tell you that getting hit in the head with a baseball fucking hurts, you may have been hit with a few too many already.

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Dude, does that guy even have an ear left?

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Crack is a hell of a drug.

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This is what happens when you use a minivan for anything.

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Man, it must've really sucked to be a kid back in the 70s.

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